It was only fitting to finish nursing school how I started nursing school...being right in the midst of someones private parts.
On my last clinical day, I was shadowing a nurse who needed to get a sample of urine from a client STAT. I was feeling really brave that day and thought to myself, "Sarah, this is your opportunity to show your stuff and take the chance"
Now, if I had known that this woman's anatomy was a bit off, I would have stayed clear of volunteering to start a sterile foley catheter. The fact that this woman was pissed off and on contact precautions (Sarah covered in a plastic gown in a hot room...not my idea of a fun start) did not help the case.
In nursing school you never want to be the student nurse that puts the foley in the "wrong hole". That pretty much equates with the feeling of complete failure. Especially if you are a woman student nurse. However, the mere fact of being a woman should not account for anything, since everyone's "down there" parts don't look anything a like! Men should actually warn women of this fact. As a woman student nurse you think, "come on now, I have the same holes", yet this statement is complete B.S.
That whole paragraph was to let you know that yes, indeed I put it in the wrong hole. or was it in the wrong hole? I honestly could not tell you because 1) I was freaking out 2) the anatomy was off 3) The lady told me she was going to hit me upside the head 4) "F me did I just put it in the wrong hole" was the only thing going through my head.
I ran out of the room to get a new kit and gave the job over to my nurse who fumbled around for another 15 minutes with no luck. At that point the scene was me trying to hold down this 82 year old, Asian woman who no shitting you almost took me multiple times!
In the end, urology was called in and they finally got a sample. However, they reported back that yes indeed her anatomy was off.
I felt as though it was only fitting to leave nursing school the way I started...
Monday, May 2, 2011
The Great State of Maine
I woke up this morning to the sound of birds chirping, the sun beaming through my window and the smell of fresh air...I'm in heaven!
My good friend Molly and her lovely family invited us girls to come and relax at their family home.
The moment you walk into their home you feel as though THIS is the home that all the movie sets are made from for the "perfect family home" pictures. It has a gorgeous backyard, with veggies, flowers and chickens!!! The kitchen is welcoming and open for conversation and there are huge windows that face the side yard, letting the sun stream in.
My friend grew-up with two other sisters and the love between them really is quite amazing. They are overjoyed to see each other every coming and going. I simply adore them all. I am secretly making myself part of the Maine family!
After I came downstairs from my restful night of sleeping I was handed a cup of fresh coffee, fruit, granola and cinnamon bread. I joined Molly and her wonderful mother outside for our breakfast and chit chat that took place in the crisp morning sun.
We are headed for a hike this afternoon and making pizza with the whole family tonight, followed by games.
Heaven, simply Heaven!
My good friend Molly and her lovely family invited us girls to come and relax at their family home.
The moment you walk into their home you feel as though THIS is the home that all the movie sets are made from for the "perfect family home" pictures. It has a gorgeous backyard, with veggies, flowers and chickens!!! The kitchen is welcoming and open for conversation and there are huge windows that face the side yard, letting the sun stream in.
My friend grew-up with two other sisters and the love between them really is quite amazing. They are overjoyed to see each other every coming and going. I simply adore them all. I am secretly making myself part of the Maine family!
After I came downstairs from my restful night of sleeping I was handed a cup of fresh coffee, fruit, granola and cinnamon bread. I joined Molly and her wonderful mother outside for our breakfast and chit chat that took place in the crisp morning sun.
We are headed for a hike this afternoon and making pizza with the whole family tonight, followed by games.
Heaven, simply Heaven!
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Community Health Nursing
This semester I am finally being exposed to community / public health nursing. The sad part about this type of nursing is that you don't get paid nearly as much money as in the hospital...which hopefully will change a bit if (and hopefully when) the health care reform is in place. My stance is that everyone should have health care.
I am most likely behind the eight ball on this, but today I found out that our government and President have socialized health care. Did you know this? So, if they have socialized health care and they have plenty of money to actually pay out of pocket for their health, why on earth are they up in arms about expanding socialized health care to all Americans? And yes, most likely everyone will respond with the answer "because of money", but that is a load of shit. Why can't we adopt some basic fundamental practices other countries have in place that lead to better health for the majority and not the minority?
You witness this divide across all aspects of health care. The other week, one of my fellow students was taking care of a man who was going to be discharged into a homeless shelter. He had life threatening illnesses that needed prescriptions, yet he could not pay for them and the hospital couldn't take on his expenses. The ironical part about the whole situation is that the doctors took the time to write him 15 prescriptions. When asked if he knew what they were for, he had no idea. Come on Doc really???
If we had socialized health care this would not have been the case. He would have been sent to get his prescriptions filled, hopefully would have helped his illness and not placed him in the hospital the next day. But still using drugs is the same idea as putting a band-aid on a wound...it helps a little. So the question that we have to ask is why aren't we putting more money into PREVENTATIVE health care???
Trust me it becomes very frustrating to be in an environment where you are constantly putting band-aids and shoving them full of pills. I will do my couple of years as a hospital nurse, but after that social policy, preventative health care and working upstream and not down are where you will find me! Or I will have flown across the pond to the UK.
When are we going to stop being selfish and start to see that EVERYONE deserves health care?
I am most likely behind the eight ball on this, but today I found out that our government and President have socialized health care. Did you know this? So, if they have socialized health care and they have plenty of money to actually pay out of pocket for their health, why on earth are they up in arms about expanding socialized health care to all Americans? And yes, most likely everyone will respond with the answer "because of money", but that is a load of shit. Why can't we adopt some basic fundamental practices other countries have in place that lead to better health for the majority and not the minority?
You witness this divide across all aspects of health care. The other week, one of my fellow students was taking care of a man who was going to be discharged into a homeless shelter. He had life threatening illnesses that needed prescriptions, yet he could not pay for them and the hospital couldn't take on his expenses. The ironical part about the whole situation is that the doctors took the time to write him 15 prescriptions. When asked if he knew what they were for, he had no idea. Come on Doc really???
If we had socialized health care this would not have been the case. He would have been sent to get his prescriptions filled, hopefully would have helped his illness and not placed him in the hospital the next day. But still using drugs is the same idea as putting a band-aid on a wound...it helps a little. So the question that we have to ask is why aren't we putting more money into PREVENTATIVE health care???
Trust me it becomes very frustrating to be in an environment where you are constantly putting band-aids and shoving them full of pills. I will do my couple of years as a hospital nurse, but after that social policy, preventative health care and working upstream and not down are where you will find me! Or I will have flown across the pond to the UK.
When are we going to stop being selfish and start to see that EVERYONE deserves health care?
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Should I or Should I not Ruffle some feathers again...
In my nursing program we have a Professor that is simply a cunt. I DON'T use this word lightly because I am not a fan, however for this lady it suits her.
For one thing, she tried to fail 70% of the class on our second exam, because she didn't see any flaws with her teaching or with the fact that 70% of the class flat out failed the exam. You see when the majority of the class gets 90's on the first exam and then somehow ends up with 50's on the second exam, I would think maybe it would peak my interest if I were the teacher. But that's just me. So when this sweetheart of a teacher didn't even bat an eyelash at 70% of her students failing I took it upon my shoulders to call her out and cause some ruckus. Now I would have not gone after her IF she had stood up in front of the class and had acknowledged there was a problem with either how she was lecturing or what the class was taking from the lecture. But she didn't and that is when guns blazing we came after her. In the end we won, however should we really of had to go to such extremes to get our point across? No!
Now that you have a little background on her I will express to you another lovely blunder that she did on Wednesdays lecture. Let me give you an example:
If you are in the hospital and someone comes into your room and introduces themselves as "Dr. _____" you are assuming that they are a Doctor of Medicine, no? Then you find out during your treatment that they got their Doctorate in Research about Medicine not in Medicine. Now wouldn't you feel a bit betrayed?
I would personally be PISSED. There is a certain amount of trust that comes with the title of Doctor and when you are in a hospital no one is thinking Doctor of Research...get the fuck out of here...come on now seriously?
However, sweet tits would have no problem introducing herself to patients as "Dr. ___", because she felt people should know that Nurses can get Doctorates. NO SHIT SHERLOCK.
Now the real comical part is that in nursing school they drill it into our heads that nursing is a real profession (not the sexy naughty nurse that obviously I was hoping to become) and that we should be proud calling ourselves a nurse. This is true. However, what kind of message is she sending to us? That being a nurse is sub par and to feel confident we need the title of Doctor. That is what is being relayed to me at least.
Now comes the tricky part for Schopbach. The smart thing to do would be to keep my mouth shut in the next lecture and not bring up this discussion. However, I am awful at doing the "smart" thing. If I have something to say I blurt it out and then usually wish I hadn't done it and had remained calm, cool and collect.
Luckily the next lecture will be Wednesday, so maybe I will be able to cool off do some deep breathing and do the smart thing.
This is a high hope and most likely won't happen. So I am sure you will read later on that Sarah is a dumbass once again.
For one thing, she tried to fail 70% of the class on our second exam, because she didn't see any flaws with her teaching or with the fact that 70% of the class flat out failed the exam. You see when the majority of the class gets 90's on the first exam and then somehow ends up with 50's on the second exam, I would think maybe it would peak my interest if I were the teacher. But that's just me. So when this sweetheart of a teacher didn't even bat an eyelash at 70% of her students failing I took it upon my shoulders to call her out and cause some ruckus. Now I would have not gone after her IF she had stood up in front of the class and had acknowledged there was a problem with either how she was lecturing or what the class was taking from the lecture. But she didn't and that is when guns blazing we came after her. In the end we won, however should we really of had to go to such extremes to get our point across? No!
Now that you have a little background on her I will express to you another lovely blunder that she did on Wednesdays lecture. Let me give you an example:
If you are in the hospital and someone comes into your room and introduces themselves as "Dr. _____" you are assuming that they are a Doctor of Medicine, no? Then you find out during your treatment that they got their Doctorate in Research about Medicine not in Medicine. Now wouldn't you feel a bit betrayed?
I would personally be PISSED. There is a certain amount of trust that comes with the title of Doctor and when you are in a hospital no one is thinking Doctor of Research...get the fuck out of here...come on now seriously?
However, sweet tits would have no problem introducing herself to patients as "Dr. ___", because she felt people should know that Nurses can get Doctorates. NO SHIT SHERLOCK.
Now the real comical part is that in nursing school they drill it into our heads that nursing is a real profession (not the sexy naughty nurse that obviously I was hoping to become) and that we should be proud calling ourselves a nurse. This is true. However, what kind of message is she sending to us? That being a nurse is sub par and to feel confident we need the title of Doctor. That is what is being relayed to me at least.
Now comes the tricky part for Schopbach. The smart thing to do would be to keep my mouth shut in the next lecture and not bring up this discussion. However, I am awful at doing the "smart" thing. If I have something to say I blurt it out and then usually wish I hadn't done it and had remained calm, cool and collect.
Luckily the next lecture will be Wednesday, so maybe I will be able to cool off do some deep breathing and do the smart thing.
This is a high hope and most likely won't happen. So I am sure you will read later on that Sarah is a dumbass once again.
Monday, January 31, 2011
Oh Match how I heart you!
The three main reasons anyone should really sign-up for match are as follows:
Profile:
E-mail from French Native:
Hello
I saw your profile and would like to see if we can become
good friend. I am not looking for a relationship with a woman
because I am gay, but I want to have good female
friend to hang out and have girly chats and fun in this city...
Let me know if you are interested
Anna ( this is my female name:)
This is simply classic! Now, my friend isn't going to do anything with this and personally if I was in her place I would definitely e-mail Anna! I mean honestly it doesn't get much better than that and gay guys (or is she/he a transgender?) are so much fun to hang out with. Except the real bitchy ones...they are usually 10X's worse then a catty girl (which is amazing in itself).
So, my next task will be to convince her to go out with Anna...hopefully there will be more to come in this story...
- You simply want to get laid (I promise I didn't know this before, but it's TRUE)
- You want a free meal (sorry guys, but it's the truth)
- Or simply to be able to tell funny ass stories (as you will read below)
Profile:
44, New York, NY Seeking Female 18-44 | looking for a great friendship I am french native. I've been in New York for more 10 years and love it here . I used to live in Paris for more than 15 years before. I am looking for friendship with a nice asian lady to share interest, travel, dinner out, etc... |
E-mail from French Native:
Hello
I saw your profile and would like to see if we can become
good friend. I am not looking for a relationship with a woman
because I am gay, but I want to have good female
friend to hang out and have girly chats and fun in this city...
Let me know if you are interested
Anna ( this is my female name:)
This is simply classic! Now, my friend isn't going to do anything with this and personally if I was in her place I would definitely e-mail Anna! I mean honestly it doesn't get much better than that and gay guys (or is she/he a transgender?) are so much fun to hang out with. Except the real bitchy ones...they are usually 10X's worse then a catty girl (which is amazing in itself).
So, my next task will be to convince her to go out with Anna...hopefully there will be more to come in this story...
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Women should be pregnant, barefoot and in the kitchen
My eldest brother used this line all the time with me. If he had a shirt to be ironed he would yell out, "Woman iron my shirt!" Now, in all honestly he got so much enjoyment out of this because I probably turned fire red anytime he said it and I would most likely cuss him out and stomp off. I remember coming home after school (or watching Oprah...I'm not going to lie, she is good shit) some days fired up about Women's rights. My brother interject and say, "Sarah, the working world is no place for a woman. All women should just cook, clean, be pregnant and barefoot. Y'all are too fragile for the working world." I don't know why barefoot really mattered, but he knew exactly what buttons of mine to push! I swore to myself that I would never just be a woman who cooked, cleaned or was barefoot!
This promise to myself kind of backfired, since I'm awful at ironing (I refused to do it), I never learned how to knit (that was VERY girlie) and cooking really is not my forte. However, I decided earlier in the year that things needed to change a bit...
Now, I can kind of cook, however if I see a recipe that calls for more than 6 ingredients and longer than an hour I am out. Eject. It will never happen. My cooking skills are probably that of a 5th grader, maybe not even that high. Yet I have friends who tell me my cooking skills are amazing. I always giggle inside at this comment. Especially, since I swear I was born into a family of gourmet cooks, and my skills are laughable to them.
We were making a cookbook of everyone's recipes, gourmet this and gourmet that...when it got to my section it was simply two things:
1) Oatmeal Chocolate Chip Cookies: Read packet on side of chocolate chips and add 1-2 cups of oatmeal. Mix with love and bake.
2) Sarah's Everything but the Kitchen Sink Salad. Directions: Put greens in a bowl, open fridge and select whatever else you have in there. Enjoy!
I realized after we put this cookbook together that I would really have to work on my skills, because it was pathetic.
Then it came to conquering knitting. Now I don't know where my image of a knitter came from because it was a bit odd: a full blown granola, which I happen to be to a certain extent, but with long arm pit hair...don't ask where this image came from, I have been in years of therapy trying to figure it out.
But then I met my friend Molly, who I just adored and made knitting for me not girlie and she made her own sweaters which is just plain bad ass! I am excited to say that knitting I can finally check off my skills list and I will be able to join one of those, "Knit and Bitch"groups. I always loved that title, but never had the skills...so thank you to my wonderful friend Molly!
Ironing: This is one skill where I have no problem completely giving to the cleaners. I will happily pay for someone else to do it. Or better yet, I just don't buy things that need ironing. It's much easier that way! Now I don't boast about this, but recently I have actually been able to get my brother to do my ironing for me...I don't know how, but it is great to see him do it!
This promise to myself kind of backfired, since I'm awful at ironing (I refused to do it), I never learned how to knit (that was VERY girlie) and cooking really is not my forte. However, I decided earlier in the year that things needed to change a bit...
Now, I can kind of cook, however if I see a recipe that calls for more than 6 ingredients and longer than an hour I am out. Eject. It will never happen. My cooking skills are probably that of a 5th grader, maybe not even that high. Yet I have friends who tell me my cooking skills are amazing. I always giggle inside at this comment. Especially, since I swear I was born into a family of gourmet cooks, and my skills are laughable to them.
We were making a cookbook of everyone's recipes, gourmet this and gourmet that...when it got to my section it was simply two things:
1) Oatmeal Chocolate Chip Cookies: Read packet on side of chocolate chips and add 1-2 cups of oatmeal. Mix with love and bake.
2) Sarah's Everything but the Kitchen Sink Salad. Directions: Put greens in a bowl, open fridge and select whatever else you have in there. Enjoy!
I realized after we put this cookbook together that I would really have to work on my skills, because it was pathetic.
Then it came to conquering knitting. Now I don't know where my image of a knitter came from because it was a bit odd: a full blown granola, which I happen to be to a certain extent, but with long arm pit hair...don't ask where this image came from, I have been in years of therapy trying to figure it out.
But then I met my friend Molly, who I just adored and made knitting for me not girlie and she made her own sweaters which is just plain bad ass! I am excited to say that knitting I can finally check off my skills list and I will be able to join one of those, "Knit and Bitch"groups. I always loved that title, but never had the skills...so thank you to my wonderful friend Molly!
Ironing: This is one skill where I have no problem completely giving to the cleaners. I will happily pay for someone else to do it. Or better yet, I just don't buy things that need ironing. It's much easier that way! Now I don't boast about this, but recently I have actually been able to get my brother to do my ironing for me...I don't know how, but it is great to see him do it!
Friday, January 21, 2011
Yoga To The People
If anyone comes through NYC and they like yoga, hit up Yoga To The People in the East Village. The studios are in old brick buildings that have windows and plants in them. They have a candle light service every Sunday night. It's my favorite yoga place in NYC thus far. I have been doing yoga on and off for the last 6 years. After so many accidents, I really dedicated myself to practicing yoga at least once a week and it has transformed my body and made me stronger.
What you won't find at YTTP:
1. Mirrors:
yoga studios that have mirrors are the ones I completely hate! Yoga is suppose to be not only exercise but also an inner practice where you focus on your breathing and let the outside world vanish.
However, most studios that I have been too I feel are dedicated to making you look at yourself for the hour and half. In those studios you usually find the tiny women up front to examine themselves while doing their practice and the not so small rest of us fighting over the space in the back. Maybe if I didn't have meat on me and I was a thin little thing I would also put myself in front of the mirror, however I highly doubt that. Whenever there was a mirror I would think to myself "that's what I look like doing this? fuck me".
Now for people who are not fans of being packed into a space this place is NOT for you. I won't lie I have been sweated on, farted on and kicked. Getting farted on was definitely by far my least favorite, however the getting sweated on came in a close second.
There are also those yoga people who come into class and do the deep breathing, but when they do the deep breathing and sighing you feel like you've entered into a porn video. I can't stand those people. It makes me say nasty things in my head the whole time during class. When what I came to do was cleanse my mind of the negativity. Fucking sucks. That was the case with the guy who kept on sweating on me. He was one of those obnoxious sighing types. So not only did I feel like I was in a porn video it kept on coming true when getting sprayed on by his sweat when he kept on whipping his hair from side-to-side. That night I got home and scrubbed my body so hard!
Now I have probably scared all of you off of YTTP, however it really is one of the best studios I have been too. And if you want to get your ass kicked (and who doesn't) its a great place to go! All the teachers rock there. So do yourself a favor and go if you're ever coming through NYC.
What you won't find at YTTP:
1. Mirrors:
yoga studios that have mirrors are the ones I completely hate! Yoga is suppose to be not only exercise but also an inner practice where you focus on your breathing and let the outside world vanish.
However, most studios that I have been too I feel are dedicated to making you look at yourself for the hour and half. In those studios you usually find the tiny women up front to examine themselves while doing their practice and the not so small rest of us fighting over the space in the back. Maybe if I didn't have meat on me and I was a thin little thing I would also put myself in front of the mirror, however I highly doubt that. Whenever there was a mirror I would think to myself "that's what I look like doing this? fuck me".
Now for people who are not fans of being packed into a space this place is NOT for you. I won't lie I have been sweated on, farted on and kicked. Getting farted on was definitely by far my least favorite, however the getting sweated on came in a close second.
There are also those yoga people who come into class and do the deep breathing, but when they do the deep breathing and sighing you feel like you've entered into a porn video. I can't stand those people. It makes me say nasty things in my head the whole time during class. When what I came to do was cleanse my mind of the negativity. Fucking sucks. That was the case with the guy who kept on sweating on me. He was one of those obnoxious sighing types. So not only did I feel like I was in a porn video it kept on coming true when getting sprayed on by his sweat when he kept on whipping his hair from side-to-side. That night I got home and scrubbed my body so hard!
Now I have probably scared all of you off of YTTP, however it really is one of the best studios I have been too. And if you want to get your ass kicked (and who doesn't) its a great place to go! All the teachers rock there. So do yourself a favor and go if you're ever coming through NYC.
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