Do I have to believe everything in the Bible???

For the greater part of my life I have struggled with the title of "Christian". Simply because I don't believe everything that the Bible says and completely don't agree with the fact that Christianity is the only religion or that being gay is a sin.

Now does that make me UN-Christian? I simply don't know. I didn't go to Church just for these reasons and if I did go I felt like a fraud. Then something changed and I went to church as a seeker, not a full believer in the religion. I am still out on that vote, but as a follower and believer of God, simply God. The grace that he/she bestows on me time and time again...

To be honest it's never really been about religion for me when it comes to my faith. I fully believe in God and I love the image of Jesus and how he lived his life. Which always makes me think he would laugh at us struggling with this whole gay issue! I have always felt that God is so much bigger than just one religion and when you get to the basis of all religions they simply are stating to live your life with love, get out of yourself and treat people with kindness. Maybe it's me being naive or the fact that I don't think God denies anyone depending on what they call themselves.

I am awful at debating these ideas of mine. You can't debate what you know is the truth from your own heart. The fact that there has been so much hatred and death among different religions who are trying to figure out whose God is better, bigger and greater than others is another reason I get exasperated on this issue.

Kabbalah and Buddhism are very attractive to me just because they don't focus on these details. There focus is on your spiritual being and living a life full of love. I know, total hippie talk. They have this quote on the website:

"When we are on a spiritual path, we are seeking to reconnect with Spirit. This spirit has no name; it is not Christian, or Jewish, or Buddhist or any other limiting description. It is just Spirit, far beyond the confines of any particular faith. And it has no gender. All people should be able to connect to its wisdom too." (www.kabbalah.com)

Which sums up my exact feelings! This is where I get so confused because when I go to Church its to remind me that life is bigger than my daily woes. That I am here to live a life of fulfillment and every time I turn to God/Spirit for help he/she blesses me. Maybe not in the ways that I want or think I want, but in the ways that lead me to feel alive and grateful.

I find it interesting that I am so fixated on the word "Christian", because it's obviously so much bigger than that for me. I guess I need to be able to live in the gray zone for awhile...which plainly irks me and goes against every grain in my being. I like black and white, clear cut...the gray zone I can't put into a category...

When people ask me what I believe, I often reply "I am seeking". It's the honest fact.