Oh Match how I heart you!

The three main reasons anyone should really sign-up for match are as follows:

1. You simply want to get laid (I promise I didn't know this before, but it's TRUE)
   
2. You want a free meal (sorry guys, but it's the truth)
3. Or simply to be able to tell funny ass stories (as you will read below)

My friend, who if I had to name her I would fondly call her Claag (cute, loud, athletic, Asian girl). I made Claag sign-up on match with me this past summer. She never actually went on a date and yet still she got a good laugh from it. She received the following e-mail today:

Profile:

44, New York, NY Seeking Female 18-44

looking for a great friendship I am french native. I've been in New York for more 10 years and love it here . I used to live in Paris for more than 15 years before. I am looking for friendship with a nice asian lady to share interest, travel, dinner out, etc...

E-mail from French Native:

Hello

I saw your profile and would like to see if we can become
good friend. I am not looking for a relationship with a woman
because I am gay, but I want to have good female
friend to hang out and have girly chats and fun in this city...

Let me know if you are interested

Anna ( this is my female name:)

This is simply classic! Now, my friend isn't going to do anything with this and personally if I was in her place I would definitely e-mail Anna! I mean honestly it doesn't get much better than that and gay guys (or is she/he a transgender?) are so much fun to hang out with. Except the real bitchy ones...they are usually 10X's worse then a catty girl (which is amazing in itself).

So, my next task will be to convince her to go out with Anna...hopefully there will be more to come in this story...

Women should be pregnant, barefoot and in the kitchen

My eldest brother used this line all the time with me. If he had a shirt to be ironed he would yell out, "Woman iron my shirt!" Now, in all honestly he got so much enjoyment out of this because I probably turned fire red anytime he said it and I would most likely cuss him out and stomp off. I remember coming home after school (or watching Oprah...I'm not going to lie, she is good shit) some days fired up about Women's rights. My brother interject and say, "Sarah, the working world is no place for a woman. All women should just cook, clean, be pregnant and barefoot. Y'all are too fragile for the working world." I don't know why barefoot really mattered, but he knew exactly what buttons of mine to push! I swore to myself that I would never just be a woman who cooked, cleaned or was barefoot!

This promise to myself kind of backfired, since I'm awful at ironing (I refused to do it), I never learned how to knit (that was VERY girlie) and cooking really is not my forte. However, I decided earlier in the year that things needed to change a bit...

Now, I can kind of cook, however if I see a recipe that calls for more than 6 ingredients and longer than an hour I am out. Eject. It will never happen. My cooking skills are probably that of a 5th grader, maybe not even that high. Yet I have friends who tell me my cooking skills are amazing. I always giggle inside at this comment. Especially, since I swear I was born into a family of gourmet cooks, and my skills are laughable to them.

We were making a cookbook of everyone's recipes, gourmet this and gourmet that...when it got to my section it was simply two things:
1) Oatmeal Chocolate Chip Cookies: Read packet on side of chocolate chips and add 1-2 cups of oatmeal. Mix with love and bake.
2) Sarah's Everything but the Kitchen Sink Salad. Directions: Put greens in a bowl, open fridge and select whatever else you have in there. Enjoy!

I realized after we put this cookbook together that I would really have to work on my skills, because it was pathetic.

Then it came to conquering knitting. Now I don't know where my image of a knitter came from because it was a bit odd: a full blown granola, which I happen to be to a certain extent, but with long arm pit hair...don't ask where this image came from, I have been in years of therapy trying to figure it out.

But then I met my friend Molly, who I just adored and made knitting for me not girlie and she made her own sweaters which is just plain bad ass! I am excited to say that knitting I can finally check off my skills list and I will be able to join one of those, "Knit and Bitch"groups. I always loved that title, but never had the skills...so thank you to my wonderful friend Molly!

Ironing: This is one skill where I have no problem completely giving to the cleaners. I will happily pay for someone else to do it. Or better yet, I just don't buy things that need ironing. It's much easier that way! Now I don't boast about this, but recently I have actually been able to get my brother to do my ironing for me...I don't know how, but it is great to see him do it!

Yoga To The People

If anyone comes through NYC and they like yoga, hit up Yoga To The People in the East Village. The studios are in old brick buildings that have windows and plants in them. They have a candle light service every Sunday night. It's my favorite yoga place in NYC thus far. I have been doing yoga on and off for the last 6 years. After so many accidents, I really dedicated myself to practicing yoga at least once a week and it has transformed my body and made me stronger.

What you won't find at YTTP:
1. Mirrors:
yoga studios that have mirrors are the ones I completely hate! Yoga is suppose to be not only exercise but also an inner practice where you focus on your breathing and let the outside world vanish.
However, most studios that I have been too I feel are dedicated to making you look at yourself for the hour and half. In those studios you usually find the tiny women up front to examine themselves while doing their practice and the not so small rest of us fighting over the space in the back. Maybe if I didn't have meat on me and I was a thin little thing I would also put myself in front of the mirror, however I highly doubt that. Whenever there was a mirror I would think to myself "that's what I look like doing this? fuck me".

Now for people who are not fans of being packed into a space this place is NOT for you. I won't lie I have been sweated on, farted on and kicked. Getting farted on was definitely by far my least favorite, however the getting sweated on came in a close second.

There are also those yoga people who come into class and do the deep breathing, but when they do the deep breathing and sighing you feel like you've entered into a porn video. I can't stand those people. It makes me say nasty things in my head the whole time during class. When what I came to do was cleanse my mind of the negativity. Fucking sucks. That was the case with the guy who kept on sweating on me. He was one of those obnoxious sighing types. So not only did I feel like I was in a porn video it kept on coming true when getting sprayed on by his sweat when he kept on whipping his hair from side-to-side. That night I got home and scrubbed my body so hard!

Now I have probably scared all of you off of YTTP, however it really is one of the best studios I have been too. And if you want to get your ass kicked (and who doesn't) its a great place to go! All the teachers rock there. So do yourself a favor and go if you're ever coming through NYC.

Half the Sky

Over the break, one of my professors told me to pick-up the book titled "Half the Sky: turning oppression into opportunity for women worldwide".

I started reading this book right before going to bed. However, after countless dreams of being tortured and raped, I decided maybe that wasn't the best idea. This book has opened up my eyes to what harrowing lives women in different countries deal with on a day-to-day basis. These women are extraordinary in the way they defy their cultures limitations.

I will warn women though that it is not an easy read and it leaves you frustrated, pissed and left with the thought of what YOU can really do to make a difference. For women who have been forced into a uncompromising situation against their will, it's hard to read the multiple stories of the rape victims. It amazes me that men for centuries have used the form of rape as a weapon of war. The women are left feeling as though they did something to bring it on, which often makes them kill themselves. It disgusts me and leaves me wanting to jump on a plane headed for battle to protect these women of the world.

The other day I brought up this book with some of my girlfriends. The conversation went into an interesting turn after they themselves (who I know have never been put in an uncompromising situation) told me that they always imaged what they would do if raped. I thought to myself that it's interesting that even in the US women in the back of their minds often imagine over and over what they would do. Most of my girlfriends decided that they would fight and kick some guys ass...which I loved! I myself always imagined that I would kick the guys ass if I ever was in that kind of situation and yet it all changes once you're in the situation.

The women in the book talk about how if they didn't have someone telling them that they weren't ruined they would have killed themselves. Yet, the people in their life (mostly amazing men) gave them hope, which gratefully lit a fire of anger and passion inside of them to make a stand. These women are my heroes. These women have death threats every day and night, their own government wants their heads for taking a stand and yet with all of these threats they stand up and are telling the government and their own cultures to "Go fuck themselves". I freaking love it!

After reading this book it makes me want to definitely continue on with my education, so that I can travel to Africa, India, the Middle East and help women take control of their bodies and their lives. I have no clue in what form this will take or when it will happen, however one of these days I will be able to make an impact with my own two hands and that is going to be amazing.

I think everyone men and women should read this book. We need to get out of ourselves and think of what small and simple impacts we can do to make a world a better place for everyone.

Boobs + 1/2 marathon training

Boobs are simply annoying at times. I am attempting to train for a 1/2 marathon, which I haven't done in about 10 years. And in those 10 years I have acquired boobs or what people say are "womanly curves". This simply means for you folks that I have gained weight and hopefully its in all the right areas (generally this is not the case).

However, now that I am getting into my longer distance runs (it was 8 miles today) my boobs, which to be honest, are not that big, are in the way! On a really good day with the help of a generous tape measure I'm a size C, but most days I come in as a B. Which are not big...trust me!

But now I am dealing with what is called the "boob rub". The boob rub, which my big breasted friends have informed me is when your boobs don't stay in the same place during your whole run and there is friction between your boobs, the sports bra and your skin. This is simply not a good combination and you end up with a burn underneath your boobs.

So ladies who have no boobs think yourself lucky!

And for the men once again you have it easier. You don't get boob rubs and can write your name in the snow with your pee...completely unfair!

[side note: for the ladies who think it would be cool to try to write your name in the snow, I am here to tell you it doesn't work. We can only make interesting puddle marks]