Match.com

Last spring I signed myself up for match.com. I'm not proud of the fact, since the whole time I felt like I was prostituting myself or even worse using the Internet to find the man of my dreams...

What can I say, I had gone to the lowest of the lows.

However, I decided "why not" since I was stuck inside the library for 4-6 hrs a day and was in classes with other nursing students none of them single, cute guys...go figure. On top of that I had a friend tell me that I should seriously think about freezing my eggs. Fuck me, I'm 29 yrs old and ppl are telling me to freeze my eggs? For real? To make myself feel better about my current situation, I told myself to just have fun with it. Go out with everyone and anyone if they seemed nice. (To the girls who are thinking of going onto match.com I would advise against my own advice).

At first, you feel like a superstar, you get so many winks and e-mails coming at you. It's great for a gal who has zero interest outside of her little world. In fact it actually was a bit overwhelming. I decided to go on some dates...

Andre:
Andre was a (real) Christian. I love meeting new people and finding out about their life. But their is a line that people usually draw especially when meeting someone for the first time...on the date I found out that he had two kids from a previous marriage (hummm, am I really at the age where I'm dating guys with teenage kids already?), had three moms growing up (wow, this is a lot to dump on a girl for the first date) and a sister who is a crack addict and keeps hitting him up for money. The part about not knowing when to draw the line about personal information was a bit much for even me. I mean come on 2 kids, three different moms (don't know how that worked) and a crack addicted sister...fuck me.

The Greek:
Now I have to say that The Greek was freaking ay hot. He had the accent, dark figures and had some meat on him. However, after our first date he left for Greece for a business trip and the whole week he texted me (which don't get me wrong is very sweet). The fact that he texted me was cute, what he texted me not so much "Hi hottie, sexy, baby" after those comments I kind of checked out. But the real reason I had to let my Greek God go was when he pulled the "I think I'm falling in love with you". Come on now, 2 weeks and you're falling in love with me? Give me a break! You just want to get into my pants...so piss off!

The Lawyer:
The next guy I decided to go out with was a guy that I had been playing e-mail tag with for a couple months. He was a lawyer and had family in SF, which was nice. The fact that all his pictures were far away, should have clued me in, but then I would be superficial and I didn't want to be that girl. We met at a swanky bar in Union Square and as I walked up to him, he asked me how I was feeling, I replied "I'm good" and then it happened. He motioned for me to give him a high five. Don't get me wrong I love the high fives, however there is a time and a place for a high five and that just wasn't it, it was the most awkward high five I think I have given. The place that we went was known for their drinks and yet I was drinking tea (since I had been sick on our last conversation...2 months ago...really?). The night proceeded to be all about him and how great he was (little dick syndrome) and how he could take me on amazing vacations and we could travel the world together...seriously? Was I feeling like a prostitute? check. I drank my tea, so damn fast that my tongue was numb for a couple of days. Worth the numb tongue? YES!

38 yr old Wall Street guy:
One of the last guys I went out with was a guy who worked on Wall Street, was a runner and his mom had been a nurse. It seemed like a great match. He was a bit older, 38 however age has never been a factor for me. Our first date we hit it off and he made sure to open the doors, pull my chair back and let me order first. We had a great time together. It wasn't until around our 3rd date that his true colors came out. The conversation about the exes came to light. I noticed that all his exes were all "young". As I remarked about this he bluntly said "Yes, well you know women my age have old eggs and I want kids some day". Not only was I floored by this comment, it made me want to grab his balls underneath the table while asking him how "fresh" he thought his sperm still was since he was nearing 40. I held back my motivation to twist his balls off, but I did put it to him about the egg comment. After that things kind of went down hill from there. The last straw probably was the fact that when he asked me what type of guy I look for I replied "Someone who is ambitious, funny, has a great heart, romantic, outdoorsy and someone I know will be my best friend and more" When he asked if he met those requirements, I told him the truth, "no". I'm guessing that comment was the deal breaker...

For the girls or men who are on match.com, that's great and good luck to you.
I don't think it's my thing...so I will be staying off of match.com unless of course I get another friend who tells me that I should really think about freezing my eggs...