Nursing 101: Hallucinogenic Manifestations

In Nursing School and any school that teaches about disease control, whether that be mental or physical you will come into what I term:

Hallucinogenic Manifestations

This is simply when normal becomes not normal. For instance, when you're reading in the the local study hall about pathogenic and microbiology effects in the environment and on and in humans, you simply start seeing them manifest before your very own eyes.

See at this precise moment, I am reading patho and the person in front of me is coughing (and not covering his mouth, which in this day and age is just plain rude!). My thought goes directly to TB or another nasty airborne virus. I mean he really isn't looking that great. And when I politely (I thought I was polite) asked him if he could cover his mouth he didn't enjoy hearing it. I don't know if it was my hand motions of "cover your mouth" or my "I'm sorry but could you cover your mouth, I can see shit spewing out". Whatever it was, he didn't take to it very well. Pansy.

Then over to my left there is another nasty little bugger who keeps sneezing and you really can see stuff spewing out...oh there he goes again...bastard! I keep giving him my evil eye but he hasn't caught me doing it yet. Which is surprising because I am looking at him for a good full minute. You can say bitch, but I am all for public health and this one isn't getting my public health message. I might have to ramp up my action.

So, when you are going through Nursing school you will assume that you have every disease imaginable. Just the other day my leg started itching and I automatically diagnosed myself with ring worm stage two.

(disclaimer: There is no such thing as ring worm two yet, however Nurse Sarah is in the process of publishing an article on this new phenomenon. Besides to her credit, it makes her sound very professional. End of disclaimer, please proceed to conclusion of blog, because Sarah discloses superb insight)

This is just part of the process. So relax and take a deep breath. Did you just take a deep breath?...because as I was writing, "take a deep breath" I actually took a deep breath, which I find pretty cool. I might have to include that more into my writings. Especially since when you get more oxygen it burns more calories...bingo (note: this was the superb insight).

Just be prepared to self diagnose yourself with every disease possible and unless you are a girl with the initials of CSW you will not have any of the diseases. The girl with the initials is screwed though. Make sure you use protective gear at all times when you come into contact with her.